Lately, I'm starting to feel dissatisfied and unhappy with work again. I'm upset that my boss keeps adding responsibilities to my job scope and that he's not taking my advices seriously. Then when things go wrong, it becomes my problem. I don't think it's right for them to phone me during weekends, especially when I'm overseas and not compensated for my mobile call charges. I'm not happy when I'm made to have work lunches, for lunch hours are not paid and rightfully it should be my own time.

I resent the fact that they have not given us an increment this year and made us clear leave and take unpaid offs in the earlier part of the year. I understand that it was due to the economic downturn, but the economy has showed signs of recovery since mid year and shouldn’t they make up for it and give us our due increments? My boss is also making me go to Muar again this Friday, and I'd have to report to work earlier and go back later because of this. I'm probably going to speak to him and ask for time off or OT pay. I do not work for free.

I have been thinking of tendering my resignation and looking for a new job after bonus next year. I have yet to decide if I would continue in this industry or to do something totally new. But of course nothings written in stone, maybe something will happen to make me change my mind. There's also the travel plans that has been made till May to consider. Oh well, I have at least 3 months to think about it.

Jer and I have started planning for our japan trip in feb. It might seem really early to plan for something happening next year, but when you really look at it, it's only 3 months away. And it being an 18 day trip means we have heaps to plan for.

We have been researching and discussing on destinations that we want to cover and stuff that we wanna do. It has been narrowed down to niseko, sapporo, shiretoko and hakodate in hokkaido, yamanashi, osaka, kyto, himeji and tokyo. We'll be spending a few days in niseko to play with the snow, snowboard and go dog sledding, then sapporo where there's the ice festival and breweries with beer ice cream! Hopefully weather conditions will permit us to see the drift ice at Shiretoko and I might consider going ice diving. Hakodate will just be a short pitstop to rest along the way and enjoy some seafood before heading off to yet another pitstop, yamanashi.

At yamanashi, we'll be going to fuji-q, this awesome amusement park with heaps of andrenalin pumping rollercoasters, including a 4th dimension rollercoaster where you hang suspended throughout the ride. Wicked! After which, we'll continue our journey to Osaka, where we'll base ourselves and make day trips to kyoto and himeji. In Osaka, we'll also check out osaka castle and the aquarium. And finally, we'll return to tokyo, where we'll do the popular walk from shibuya to harajuku, eat sushi at tsukiji fish market, gasp at the fuji tv building and do heaps of shopping. I am getting excited just thinking about it.

Jer and I are going off to Batam for the weekend. We're planning to do some cable wakeboarding and maybe try out snowboarding at the indoor snow park. The indoor snow park is probably gonna be a small, sad affair, but I thought it'd be cool to get a feel on the board, as we've more or less confirmed our 18 day japan trip in feb and we're planning to go snowboarding at niseko.

The cable wakeboarding is also a prep for me, as I'm thinking of picking up kiteboarding in Thailand in dec. I've also been going stunt kiting with my bro to practice some basic kite moves. I reckon it'd be easier for me to pick it up having some foundation in boarding and kiting, knowing that I have bad psyho-motor coordination. And so we've got airtix for thailand, japan and also perth in may.

For perth, we're planning to go on a 5 day road trip up to exmouth and back. We won't get to spend much time in exmouth as it is a long 1260km drive one way, but it is not just about the destination, but the journey. It'd be a first real road trip for jer and myself and I think it's gonna be awesome. If we manage to spend some time in exmouth, I'm hoping to do some diving. It's gonna be whale shark season and ningaloo is known to have some great unspoilt reefs.

I haven't been able to save anything for the past 3 months and it's worrying. It is kinda expected seeing the way I've been spending money on airtix and stuff. I really should save up for japan and perth, but I don't know how successful I'll be. Ack. I really should start looking into where I can cut down on expenses and put some spare cash away. The good part is, I've got my new passport and I guess I'm gonna add heaps of stamps to it.

it's scary how 2009 is going by so quickly. oct is just round the corner and soon it'd be 2010.

the japan trip might not be happening as jer is thinking of changing jobs and she might not be able to go. we'll probably know in another couple of days.

we have some short weekend trips lined up to keep us entertained in the meantime, we're thinking of going to batam to learn how to cable ski in oct, bintin in nov to learn how to kitesurf and maybe even desaru in dec to learn how to surf.

the general opinion at work is that the global economy is recovering and we are hoping for a decent bonus at the year end to make up for all the forced leave clearing and forfeit of yearly increment. I know I sure need it to offset all the extra expenditure that I will be incurring.

jer and I will be going to puerto galera in two week's time. after that, we might not be traveling much other than maybe going to nearby malaysia or indonesia. we might head up to desaru in dec with my friend to learn to surf.

we are planning to go japan some time in feb next year to snowboard. we are planning to go niseko in hokkaido during the peak of winter. we'll probably be checking out other parts of japan like tokyo, osaka, kyto, while we're at it and doing heaps of other activities other than snowboarding, like dog sledding, hotspring bathing and not to forget, heaps of eating and drinking. although it's almost half a year away, we're getting pretty psyched just planning and thinking about the trip. but this epic 18day trip is probably gonna cost an arm and a leg. so we'll probably be heaps broke after that.

other than japan, we're also thinking of going to trek nepal some time in nov next year. we have not decided on which trail, but it'd probably either be annapurna or langtang. we'll probably have to start training and building some serious leg muscles, endurance and stamina if we want to make it back in one piece. so I've proposed to jer that we do nothing but serious training from now on, for not only will it help to condition us, it'll also be good on our pockets, now that we'll probably need to start saving for the trips. lol. but it has also opened up a whole new area for consumerism, we've started online shopping for trekking gear and shit. I'm eyeing some nice fleece wear and trekking boots. totally sexy. :)~~

the year is almost over. if you seriously think about it, we're only four and half months away from 2010. so what have you achieved and what have you done?

so bali didn't go so well, mainly cause I didn't expect jer to seriously freak out while diving. oh boy. what to do ... what to do ...

next up puerto galera. unlike bali, I've never dived this spot before and I was truely looking forward to it. yet at the same time, I would like to spend some quality time with jer. decisions decisions.

I'm totally looking forward to my Bali trip. I'm happy that Jer is going with me and as a form of compromise, I'm going to cut one day of diving, so the intineary will look something like this:

7th - Dive Tulamben (2 dives)
8th - Dive Manta Point & Nusa Penida (3 dives)
9th - Surf / River rafting
10th - Massage / Spa

Somewhere in there I intend to fit in a visit to Tanah Lot, shopping at Kuta, Ubud's famous babi guling and lots of Bintang. Can't wait.

Made an impromptu trip to Batam over the weekend. Tried wakeboarding on cable ski, went for massage, ate lots of indo food, drank lots of beer and avocado with chocolate. It was awesome, but I think it was mainly due to the great company. Next up, Bali. Bintang, here I come!
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Some times I think of you and wonder if I should've fought harder for your friendship like how Shane fought for Jenny's. Sigh. I never meant to hurt you, I think of you fondly and I pray life's good to you.

the past week has been awesome. lots of awesome eating, drinking, skating, swimming and I got to see Carol. where can I sign up to do it all again? looking forward to more awesomeness in the days to come.

A while back I thought I was in love with the perfect girl. She was kind, caring, full of compassion and love, but thing is, I am a fool in love. I am often blinded and only see what I want to see.

I was wrong, she was not what I wanted, I'm glad I had not invested more. I'm not sorry it's over, but I had fun while it lasted and that's all that counts right now. In a way, XY was right when she said, I should be glad she had not picked me. Oh well, another episode in my life, I'm sure there's many more to come.

Life has been awesome and I have never felt so blessed. I don't always get my way, but there's hardly anything worth complaining about.

Seriously looking forward to KL trip, it's been a long trip since I went and I think it's gonna be heaps of fun. Other than KL, there are heaps of eating, drinking, blading and merry making with some really awesome people. Next week, I'll also start swimming. Like seriously swim. It is going to be a challenge, I hope I'm up to it and not hyperventilate. Eep.

I plan to devote the next month to learning how to swim and treadwater proficiently. In June, there's also Ubin-Chek-Jawa trip and runway blading to look forward to. I don't know how I am gonna fit in time for chores, working out and shit. Sigh. Living is good, too good. So much so that it's a little worrying, like the stillness experienced just before a thunderstorm.

I thought I won't enjoy the recent dive trip to perhentian, being a jaded diver and all, but I did. mainly it has to do with the great people I met from all over the world. it's awesome trading dive and travel stories. also, being I realised I have been away from the sea for far too long, it is awesome just being submerged in water.

looking forward to the other activities lined up for this month, starting with cycling and seafood trip to pengarang, malaysia with some friends. then at the end of this month will be going to KL to shop, eat, chill out and sight see. if I can find rock climbing sessions that coincide with the dates I'm going, I might even go climb gua damai at batu caves. so exciting. :)

am leaving for perhentian in two days. I am still hoping for a miracle, but I guess that's not gonna happen. miracles only happen in a fairy tale and hollywood.

in the spur of the moment I bought an extra ticket. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought I was over it. I guess I was wrong.

xy says: remember you mentioned before she was the type you've been looking for. through the years, I realised xy is the only person who came closest to understanding me.

I am feeling wretched, but it will pass. I'm feeling emo, but I will get over it. I will be ok. I am mel, I am cool, I can do anything; or so some people who don't really understand me tells me.

Perhentian end apr
Bali start aug
Puerto gelera mid sep

What am I gonna do in may, jun, jul and after sep? hmm, decisions, decisions ...

I was lamenting to my friend the other day about not meeting any nice girls. that the last few girls that I've met are attached and just looking for a fling. why don't I meet any nice girls? she replied that nice girls will not want to have anything to do with me, cause they'd be afraid of getting hurt by me. her remark bothered me, it made me sad. am I really a jerk or give them the impression that I am?

I have been hanging out with straight girls lately, I don't know how that's gonna help my love life, but they seem to love me. I recently discovered that a married colleague of mine sorta have a thing for me. the other colleagues kept teasing her when I'm around. it actually started a few months ago, but now it has gotten worse. I don't know what to do, so I usually just smile, but it makes me uncomfortable.

last night I went to a lesbian party with a bunch of straight girls. it was supposed to be just two girls initially, but their girl friends wanted to come, so I ended up with a four girl straight girl entourage. the good thing is, straight girls dress nice. they came in their cute little dresses and heels. and they're not afraid to dance even when the dance floor is almost empty. of course after we started dancing all the wussies started crowding the limited space.

after the party, I sent some mates home and when I got home I got a text, "the gers love you a lot, they're asking if you can make it for a gers nite out." I'm sure there's nothing romantic about their love for me, but if I keep hanging out with straight girls, how am I gonna meet that nice lesbian girl of mine? or maybe I've been looking at all the wrong places all these while.

over the weekend I finally made it to chek jawa. it is a wetland reserve on ubin. the element of death was heavy from the start. while waiting for enough passengers to fill the bum boat, I saw an indian family carrying an urn board a chartered bum boat.

I chose to go on a friday since I didn't have to work -- they decided to cut one day off my work week so as to justify the pay cut -- and I figured there'll be less reckless cyclists. and I was right, other than a handful of tourists, I was the only one peddling around the island.

I checked out the tide information before I went and knew I had ample time to spare before low tide at chek jawa, so I decided to cycle around the island a bit. I was heading to one of the quarry, going up slope before I ran out of steam halfway up and had to get off my bike to push. I was pushing my bike when I realised that the road was flanked by tombs. and I was all alone. and I just passed by a road sign that says german girl shrine. and it was a really shady and quiet part of the island. and it was really eerie.

I decided to turn around and go back where I came from, so I got back on my bike and allowed it to roll back down the slope. with my imagination running wild, the falling leaves sounded like footsteps of ghouls chasing after me from behind and I can't help but look back every once in a while and yet I was afraid of what I might see. I only relaxed when I was out of the foliage and out in the warm sunshine.

I don't think I'm generally a wuss, but I was really spooked. but I did make it to check jawa in the end, and that was my little adventure for the weekend.
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a while back, after I got back from sipadan, my colleague asked me aren't I bored of diving already; having been on so many trips, I must've already seen it all. what she doesn't realise is that only 30% of the earth's surface is covered by land and how much of that have we seen? much less, the deep blue.

the feeling of gliding weightlessly through water is amazing. it is not unlike flying, except more peter pan than superman. the ability to move in any direction, any orientation, and execute back flips, forward rolls, effortlessly as you please. or to laze, perfectly suspended in mid-water watching the fishes and underwater scenery swim by like a moving picture.

it is magical. I like everything about diving. I even like currents. I like the big fish that it some times bring. I like the workout it provides. I like the adrenaline rush that accompanies it. I like the rush. damn, I need my fix.

It feels strange to be back at work sitting at my desk, where yesterday morning I was still on a sandy beach, basking in the warm sea breeze. In a way I am glad to be back, to enjoy the creature comforts of civilisation, simple things that we often take for granted, like television, internet, prompt service and not having to be constantly worried about people trying to rip you off.

I was beginning to develop island fever, onset of madness brought about by boredom of not having anything to do on a tiny island. It was raining on and off the last couple of days that I was there and the boatmen were refusing to go out, for fear of capsizing out at sea. So either there was no diving, or it was conducted in the nearby reefs. In a way I was lucky to have been able to get out before the storm broke out; we started observing white caps -- foamy white ripcurls -- just when we were about to reach the mainland. If I dallied for another hour or more, I might've been trapped in Malapascua for another day.

I did a lot of reading when I was there, but I ain't complaining. I went through half of the diving magazine I bought at the departure lounge on the flight and the other half the first night at Moalboal. Luckily, the little dive resort which I stayed had a small collection of orphaned paperbacks left behind by past patrons, which they gladly loaned out. But as the collection was small and english titles even smaller, I settled for a 600-odd paged Tom Clancy, which kept me entertained for the many nights.

Although I did meet some really nice people on the trip, our exchange were pretty brief and mainly confined to the duration of the boat rides, or the short periods where we lazed together on the beach. I did not initiate to have meals or meet for evening drinks with them. I was feeling pretty antisocial and I preferred to just sit by myself with my book. I finished the Tom Clancy half-way during my stay on Malapascua and made a swap with Dan, one of the dive operators for this book called The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz.

Books in Philippines are cheap as compared to Singapore, so on the last day before my flight, I made a trip to the mall to grab a few. Till now I am still wondering if the detour was worth it, cause I lost my new pair of Oakleys while at the mall. I bought it just before the trip, so I'm pretty sore about it. But oh well, there's no point crying over spilt milk.

Traveling in rural Philippines require shit-loads of patience, and if there was a lack of it in the first place, you will pick it up after a week. It is a norm to wait more than half an hour for your meal to be prepared; you learn to plan an hour ahead for meals. I guess most of the people didn't have anything better to do with their time anyway, so the pace of life is really slow. It is also wise to carry notes in denominations smaller than 1,000Php. It is unfathomable how nobody seem to have change for 1,000Php, equivalent to about SGD33.

The disparity in Cebu is wide and apparent. To get to the big, up market mall during my stop-over in Cebu city from Moalboal to Malapascua, I walked pass grotty slums and posh condominiums, co-existing side by side. I dived with some privileged locals, who are shiny, happy, well-fed and clothed. And on the other end of the spectrum there are those who live in the back-alley slums, wears tattered, thread-bare clothes, who's diet consists mainly of cheap carbohydrates, maybe even go hungry on some days, and who's eyes go wide in disbelief when I give them a SGD3.30 tip.

It saddens me to learn about a 10 year old little girl who passed away because of tetanus from two tiny scratches on her leg. It is something I cannot imagine happening in today's world. I came back to work learning that a chip manufacturer is going down because of a failed insolvency petition and many others are retrenching staff. The future looks bleak, but I reckon there are many parts of Asia where I haven't been and where one can live cheaply.

If I should lose my job, maybe I should take it as a cue to take to the road less traveled and perhaps even get myself dive instructor certified. I didn't talk much about the diving, which was awesomely awesome by the way, cause I reckon the photos and videos that I will be uploading to facebook will speak for itself. Overall, I won't recommend this trip to everyone, but I'm glad I made this journey.

I recently met someone who thinks that it's wrong to whale, kill sharks or hunt. basically, she thinks that it is only right to eat farmed animals. in another words, her point is that any type of meat that's bred for food is alright.

I don't agree with her, not one bit. if I could, I would be a vegetarian and I admire carol for being one, but me, I'm a terribly flawed creature. I've always wanted to go fishing. I would like to try hunting if I have a chance and if a war involving singapore breaks out, I would be the first to volunteer to be enlisted. but I digress.

I don't think it's right to kill and eat something just because it's farmed. firstly, there is no sustainable fish farming as yet. the ratio of fish food to fish meat doesn't add up pound for pound. and some times they buy small, cheap fish as fish food, which in turn deprive poor fishing nations their cheap source of protein.

and as for farmed animals, it's even worse. basically they're doomed to die just because they're born a cow or a chicken? so in the old days a nigger is doomed to be a slave just because he's born black? it's like the movie the island, where ewan mcgreggor and scarlett johansson are cloned for their organs. so it's alright to harvest their organs just because they're bred for that purpose?

if I'm good and noble, I'd be a vegan. but alas, as I've mentioned above, I'm deeply flawed and I won't hesitate to chomp on soylent green if it ever comes to that. and yes, I would even say grace and give thanks before my meal.
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the cebu trip is falling into place. accomoodation and diving are more or less sorted out. honestly with visiting asian countries, what can go wrong will usually go wrong, so I'm not seriously fussing. if things go as planned, good. else, I'd just play by ear. I've got my pesos, so that's good and since I've got 10 good days, I think I'm ready to handle any hiccups with lots of time to play around with. I believe it's gonna be an awesome adventure and I'm looking forward to lots of good diving. the only thing I'm worried about are mozzies and my stupid allergy to tiny sea organisms, which causes days of horrible itching after. bah, you can't win it all ...

my companion for cebu have piked on me, so it'll be just mathilda and me on this dive trip again. although I'm accustomed to traveling alone and diving is like watching a movie, where you don't get to talk, I'm disappointed, for I was looking forward to having someone to recount the wonderful dive experience with. drinking san mig under the star-filled sky and talking about the wonderful stuff that we saw.

despite my disappointment, I'm convinced philippines is going to be one of those awesome dive trips that's gonna join the ranks of bali and sipadan as one of the best diving destination I've been to. the truth is, this might be the last dive trip for me for this year. with the depressing outlook for the economy, I have no idea what's going to happen in the second or third quarter. because of that, I've decided not to get the custom-made wetsuit either, although I've already thought of the most awesome design; my wetsuit was gonna be yellow with a single black stripe, tribute to bruce lee's yellow tracksuit in game of death. that would've been awesomely awesome, cause it'd mean I'd be aerodynamic when I fight. lol.

12 days to the trip and I have not made any confirmed bookings for accommodation or dives. I've decided on the dive locations though, it'd be moalboal and malapascua. I shall not talk about the stuff that I am hoping or might see just in case I jinx it. typically, I'm into pelagics even though I do appreciate some of the micro stuff, but generally they lack the wow factor to blow me away. I might get myself nitrox certified on this trip and it does makes sense to do it, since I'm going big fish hunting and most of the bigger stuff are at greater depths. so yeah, that's basically my game plan, and hoping to clock at least 15 dives and spotting some kick-ass stuff. psyched.

where should I start describing my awesome holiday? there's so much to say. cyberspace is infinite, but I'm so drained. and in a good way. all the activity and the long journey back to civilisation have exhausted me.

I'm still in thailand, but back in bustling phuket and no longer afloat on the andaman seas. I started off the holiday feeling totally blue and lonely, but now after 5 days, I'm filled with so much joy and a renewed faith that there's love and goodness in this world. I know I'm beginning to sound totally sappy and eek-ish, but I can't help it.

the feel-goodness did not come from the diving, that was a letdown in a way. it came from the wonderful people I met and got to know on this trip. it is surprising what the experience of being lost together in a foreign land can do to a group of complete strangers. I'm happy and I'm ready to take on the new year, come what may.